It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. After being away for over a month, maybe two, I find myself facing a difficult time right now. It is a time of uncertainty, and a time of needing direction from God, as I wait on the Lord.
Today, I find myself having a hard time finding stable work. Hours have been difficult to get with the home health agency I’ve been with. Typically, I only get part-time hours, which is not the norm for me. I’ve always been able to get full-time work, with all of my previous employers. Sure, there were times when I’d go a week without work, but I was always able to get new clients shortly after.
Gosh, it’s been difficult to even get full-time hours, let alone enough to pay my bills. In all fairness, I believe they probably have me in their system as PRN, which means “as needed” for fill-ins. I compromised, stuck around, and found myself working 6 days a week just to scramble for 30 hours. That kind of schedule will wear anyone out over time.
Then, over the last few weeks, something changed dramatically. In home health, we work one-on-one with a single patient. Some families only need temporary help, while others are ongoing until services are no longer needed. I was working for a patient and their family where things were okay. I was barely getting by on 20 hours a week, which wasn’t enough for my bills, but I was able to pick up random shifts here and there to make it work.
But then, everything shifted. I felt like I was on a roller coaster of fear, worry, stress, and anxiety.
That main patient canceled their shifts one week, then missed most of the next week, and then the following week too. With no income coming in, I finally had to ask the office to take me off the case so I could look for other open shifts. The office agreed and took me off.
After the office took me off that case, they gave me shifts for the upcoming week with several new patients for just one or two days each. But then, one canceled. Then another, and another. On top of that, they kept changing my shifts.
The following week, even more shifts were canceled. For three straight weeks, the majority of my schedule was wiped out. Not one, not two, but over six shifts were canceled. Talk about stress and worry.
How am I going to pay my bills? I only have enough money to get by for a very limited amount of time. And next week, guess what? I only have 12 hours for the entire week. Yes, that’s right, 12 hours.
I’ve been applying for other jobs, but either they don’t call back, or the position, schedule, or location doesn’t work out. Then, I finally got hired at two different agencies. I thought, finally, some good news! But nope. One wanted my past bosses to fill out a weird survey, which was a hard “no” for me. The other agency told me during orientation that I couldn’t work for a competitor and would have to quit my current job. But who is to say they will even have enough hours for me? It certainly didn’t sound like it.
So for the past three weeks, the majority of my shifts have been canceled, leaving me with barely any work. Next week brings immense anxiety, worry, and stress with only 12 hours on the clock. Naturally, I prayed. I beg God to please help me. I have no other help; and I needed Him. I’ve been praying and praying, but it seems like every single door has been closed in my face.
I sat there praying, and the only thing I could hear was silence and the heavy beat of my anxious, worried heart.
And then, God spoke.
He spoke in a way where I knew it was Him speaking, so there was absolutely no confusion. He sent me the exact same message three times in one day.
First, I started reading a book called The Way of God. Right in the beginning, it talked about how Abraham and Sarah were faithful to God. God made promises to them, and they trusted and waited on Him to act.
Later that day, while leaving work, I turned on my regular playlist on Spotify. I play it so much that I know every single song by heart, so nothing on it should have surprised me. But I noticed the song playing that day felt different. I started to really focus on the lyrics, and then I looked down at the title. It was new song they had added called “Wait for the Lord” by Ellie Holcomb.
Finally, I opened the Bible app on my phone to read the verse of the day. It was a Psalm telling me to wait for the Lord.
All three sources carried the exact same message: Wait for the Lord.
God speaks to everyone differently. But for me, the way I know without a doubt that God is clearly trying to say something to me, so there is no confusion or hesitation, is when He confirms it two or three times through different ways. It usually happens back-to-back on the very same day, or sometimes over a couple of days.
When God answers, He answers in a way that gets our attention. I will share more later, but for now, this is what I wanted to pass along: if you pray, God will answer. Sometimes it just takes truly listening to Him, and it is not always in the way we expect. I have much more to share, but that will be for my next post.
Till then, God Bless and Wait on The Lord
